"Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them."
Psalm 139:16 (NKJV)
Say WHAT?
He said, “My goal is to outlive my wife.” I immediately said to myself, “Say what? Sounds like he needs to go back through the Family ‘F’ to me!” But his next statement made the first one clear: as he and his wife aged, he wanted to be the one to take care of her instead of her having to take care of him. Those words made sense and my mind immediately went to my wife’s grandpa.
Grandpa
My wife and I had been married about a month when her grandpa passed. He had grown sicker during the year or so we dated and while his death wasn’t surprising, it still felt sudden. He was a big man who had a little wife. Gigi, as our kids called her, almost put herself in the hospital trying to take care of Grandpa. She pulled, tugged, lifted, and pushed on her beloved husband until she was exhausted mentally and physically. Don’t get me wrong, sons and daughters and other family helped as well, but when it came to taking care of her husband, she wanted to do it all.
Grandpa had heart and lung issues mainly due to years of smoking and being exposed to industrial gases as part of his career. And, to my knowledge, like most men of his generation, Grandpa worked hard but never exercised. He knew Jesus and was right spiritually with God, but didn’t take care of his body in essentially any way except to eventually go to the doctor when his health got really, really bad.
Gigi
Gigi, however, was different. She would get up before sunrise, go across the street to the high school track, and walk four miles every morning except Sunday. She would then work in her large garden until mid-morning when she would go in and look after Grandpa.
After Grandpa passed, when her walking and gardening were done, Gigi would often go down the street and help take care of the “old ladies” who were at least 10 years younger than she was! Gigi lived about 22 years after Grandpa passed during which she was in good physical health and, even though she began to struggle with her thinking and needed assistance during the last few of her 90+ years, she only needed physical help the last few months of her life.
Choices
I know God knows the length of our days and what will happen in those days, Psalms is one book that teaches this truth.
Psalm 139:16 (NKJV)
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them.
But I also know that God gives us the gift to choose and sometimes we choose well and other times we choose poorly and those choices, I believe, have direct impact on both the quality and length of our days on this earth.
Living to Love
I would have liked to have known Grandpa better. He was one of the brightest lights in my wife’s life as she grew up. He loved her and demonstrated to her what loving someone looked like and our family benefits from Grandpa’s “love lessons” today through my wife being able to love us so well.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be man enough to say what that brother said. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to want to out-live my wife. But, until God calls me home, I am striving to live more like Gigi so I can be strong enough to love more like Grandpa. Maybe you can too.
RALI on brothers!
Mike Book
MD5 Facilitator
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